» Difficult Coworkers http://www.shrinkinabox.com Turn Your Stress Into Success Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:20:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Difficult People Case Examples http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people-case-examples http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people-case-examples#comments Mon, 06 Dec 2010 05:56:22 +0000 drmark http://www.shrinkinabox.com/?p=2906 “This method helped me to put the demands of work into perspective. People have known that I’ve been stressed about the pressures and expectations of my job for awhile now, but the program helped me learn to take things much less personally. It [...]]]> Here are just a few examples of rapid positive change with the Wellspring Method…

“This method helped me to put the demands of work into perspective. People have known that I’ve been stressed about the pressures and expectations of my job for awhile now, but the program helped me learn to take things much less personally. It worked a lot better than I thought it would in the beginning and I was really impressed that my issue could be resolved so quickly! It’s like issues that are stressing you just become non-issues, so you can get on with enjoying life.”

- Ron Betuba
Customer Care Representative

Helpful Tip… Ron felt “stressed” at work and not sure what to do about it. By simply targeting the specific behaviors in his coworkers and supervisor that were triggering him, he was able to understand the source of his stress and then clear up the issues one by one.

“I was experiencing a problem dealing with conflict both at home and at work. After using the Wellspring Method I am very pleased with the results. I found it to be tremendously helpful and encouraging, strongly recommending it for anyone.”

- Charles Dunwood
Teaching Assistant for Special Needs Students

Helpful Tip… Charles discovered that learning not to be afraid of conflict or anger caused other people to simply stop using this tactic on him to get their way.

“My ex-husband was a negative disapproving person. I used to think ‘I’m a loser’, but the Wellspring Method has given me the confidence to believe in myself. I can now feel good and enjoy life as I become healthy and financially free. This is THANKS to your program and knowing there are people in this great world of ours, like yourself, who can really make a difference in other peoples’ lives.”

- Betty Gilford
Financial Representative

Helpful Tip… Betty’s bullying ex-husband was good at making her feel small and unimportant. She learned how to tap into her wellspring of strength and confidence to stand up for the consideration and respect she deserved.

… see more examples

Because I wanted to help more people than just those who walk through the door of my office, I decided to publish a book online and make it available to YOU for instant access.

The book is called “Secrets of Dealing with Difficult People”.

I’ve learned that most people do exactly the WRONG things in most situations with “difficult” people. In my book, I’ll teach you the RIGHT things to do.

If you don’t have a clue about how to handle a difficult person, and would like to clear up your situation effectively, this book will help you.

If you already have fairly well-developed interpersonal skills, this book will make you better.

You might be dealing with a difficult person at work or at home or somewherein the community. That’s fine. Whatever your situation, this book will help you.

By the way, this isn’t just a collection of tips and advice. It’s a step-by-step method, a tried and tested system that you can use to solve all sorts of relationship dilemmas.

… see some of the secrets inside the dealing with difficult people book

]]> http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people-case-examples/feed 0 How to Be Assertive with Difficult Coworkers http://www.shrinkinabox.com/assertive-with-difficult-coworkers http://www.shrinkinabox.com/assertive-with-difficult-coworkers#comments Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:18:53 +0000 dr.mark http://shrinkinabox.com/blog/?p=78 Question From a Reader…

“I work with a person who is very abrasive and refuses to return telephone calls and emails. My job is providing technical support to an area of which they manage. With no feedback and interaction my job becomes very difficult. How would you propose handling this type of personality?”

My Response… [...]]]> Question From a Reader…

“I work with a person who is very abrasive and refuses to return telephone calls and emails. My job is providing technical support to an area of which they manage. With no feedback and interaction my job becomes very difficult. How would you propose handling this type of personality?”

My Response…

The problem behavior is that he is not communicating with you and you therefore don’t have the information you need to do your job. Your goal is to get this communication happening, preferably respectful communication.

The easiest way of making his behavior become a problem for him would be to inform him that you have to temporarily suspend technical support until a satisfactory line of communication can be established.

Explain what you need (for example, regular reporting to learn of any technical issues, respectful collaboration when solutions are being tested, answers to questions, etc.)

If you don’t get a response, just wait for the next technical problem to arise and instead of fixing it, direct anyone concerned to that manager. Also, email him again to say that you are available to resolve the communication issue first before the technical problem can be addressed.

I realize you may need a dose of courage to do this.

For this you can use the Wellspring Method that I developed in my practice for dealing with difficult people and stressful situations like this.

You may need to get your supervisor on board with this idea first. Do that if you need to. Point out that you are purposely allowing a problem to develop in order to achieve an essential line of communication that is needed in order for your department to do its job.

I think you should hold out for a face to face meeting with the manager in question and don’t give in until you are happy with the plan that the two of you put into place along with the appropriate collaborative attitude you are looking for.

It may be that this manager is simply too busy and overloaded with other responsibilities. You could then suggest that he delegate an appropriate person to communicate with you around the technical stuff.

It would probably be wise to mentally rehearse this whole scenario a few times with the Wellspring Method in order to work out in your mind how you are going to handle things and gain the assertiveness skills and confidence you need for it.

If the line of communication breaks down again, provide a warning that service is about to cease again and ask for another meeting to create a BETTER plan because the last one didn’t work well enough.

Live Powerfully!
Dr Mark

Mark Lauderdale MD FRCPC
Psychiatrist and Personal Effectiveness Coach

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