How to Relieve the 7 Common Nighttime Fears in Children
Here's what parents can do
A 25-year review of the scientific literature reported that nighttime fears in children are common, they interfere with daily functioning, and they result in considerable disruption within the family (Lewis et al 2021).
Is it Normal for Kids to be Scared at Night?
A study by Muris et al (2001) showed that 73.3% of normal children reported having nighttime fears. These fears were common among 4-6 year olds, became even more frequent in 7-9 year olds, and remained relatively stable in 10-12 year olds. It also showed that parents typically underestimated the frequency of nighttime fears as reported by their children.
Most nighttime fears are part and parcel of normal development (Muris & Field 2011) and arise from the child’s maturing awareness of the dangers that exist in the world around them. In addition, the child’s increasing cognitive ability causes them to imagine scary scenes that are either impossible or highly unlikely (e.g., ghosts, aliens, kidnappers entering the house, monsters, etc) (Ducasse 2015).
Are There Negative Consequences From Nighttime Fears?
Children's nighttime fears cause significant interference to the child's functioning as well as causing much distress for the child and family (Gordon et al 2007). Not only do parents suffer from lack of sleep and become irritable, but children suffer from moodiness and daytime tiredness caused by poor sleep which can detract from the child's school learning and the quality of their relationships (Rafihi-Ferreira et al 2018).
Nighttime fears are responsible for emotional upset in the child including crying, panic, tantrums at bedtime, loss of confidence, self-disparaging negative statements, and a feeling of social embarrassment, as well as behavioral disturbances such as wandering alone in the house at night, calls for parental or sibling comfort, bed sharing with parents or siblings, light source at night, refusal to go to the toilet alone at night, etc. (Ducasse 2015).
In addition, due to the fear, the child may avoid sleeping outside the home (e.g., school camps, friends' homes) and this can have a detrimental effect on the child’s subsequent social development (Silverman & Treffers, 2001).
Moreover, nighttime fears may continue into adolescence for some children. Persistent sleep problems in childhood are associated with an increased risk of anxiety disorders in adulthood (Gregory et al 2005).
The bottom line is this .. Your child’s scary thoughts and images should be neutralized because they will probably lead to further problems.
How Can I Help My Child with Nighttime Fears?
Fortunately, many studies have demonstrated the rapid effectiveness of Cognitive Behavior Therapy techniques with children’s nighttime fears including desensitization, emotive imagery, cognitive self-instruction, and reinforcement procedures (Gordon et al 2007).
Unfortunately, most parents do not have the time or resources to seek out a qualified therapist to provide this therapy. Furthermore, there are far too few therapists available to treat the vast number of children with nighttime fears.
However, there has been a growing interest in providing parents with therapeutic tools and resources to produce effective change with their children at home (Simon et al 2014, Lebowitz & Majdick 2020).
In my 30 years experience as a child psychiatrist I developed a simple step-by-step method based on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) principles, which I used successfully in my practice with dozens of my patients. I subsequently created an interactive online program called “Bedtime Hero” that parents can use with their kids to neutralize the scary thoughts and nighttime fears.
The 7 Common Nighttime Fears in Children
In a large study of 511 children aged 8 to 16 years Gordon et al (2007) reported that nighttime fears are comprised of more fears than simply a fear of darkness, including fears of bad dreams, nightmares, noises, shadows, monsters, intruders, burglars, kidnappers, and of being left alone at night. My experience in practice was the same, so I incorporated treatment for the 7 common types of nighttime fears into the Bedtime Hero program.
One must realize that the problem is not the actual things in the child’s environment such as the closet, the bed, the dark, being alone, intruders, etc. The problem is the child’s imagination, and the solution is to teach them how to use their strong imagination in constructive ways.
Nighttime Fear #1: Fear of the Dark
While fear of the dark is often thought to be the most common, it was reported as the main underlying nighttime fear by only 9% of the children studied (Muris et al 2001). The usual strategy advised on the internet is to use a night light. This can be helpful, but you must be sure to make it a dim light, or one that can be gradually adjusted to a very low level. It’s more helpful to desensitize your child to the dark, which is a technique of CBT (Kanfer 1975). I typically advise parents to sit with their child, turn off the lights, and wait for 5 minutes in the dark to show the child that their eyes have the ability to adjust to the darkness. Then, look at all of the things they can see, turn the lights on again and see if they guessed right. It becomes a game as they desensitize to the darkness.
Nighttime Fear #2: Fear of the Closet or Under the Bed
As in the fear of the dark, I recommend to children that they practice looking inside the closet and under the bed in order to memorize exactly what is there. Then, get into bed and report to the parent exactly what was in the closet or under the bed. Do this as many times as it takes for them to be 100% correct. This is also a desensitization technique, but the Bedtime Hero program goes one step further with a procedure that helps the child do all of this with a feeling of strength and confidence.
Nighttime Fear #3: Fear of Sounds
Your child is capable of imagining that the creaks in the house at night are the footsteps of someone coming up the stairs, or that a tree branch bumping the house is someone climbing on the roof. I like to explain to children that when things get hot or cold they expand and contract, and that includes houses, which is why the wooden boards creak as the house cools off during the night. Using simple explanations that a child can easily understand is a good strategy to dissipate nighttime fears. This is referred to as cognitive self-instruction (Graziano and Mooney 1980).
Nighttime Fear #4: Fear of Intruders
The fear of intruders, in one form or another, is by far the most common nighttime fear in children. Muris et al (2001) reported the fear of intruders (e.g., burglars, kidnappers) in 23% of children in their study, followed by the fear of imaginary creatures (e.g., ghosts, monsters) in 16.5% of children. In my opinion, both of these are intruders and both are imagined fears because burglars typically break in when no one is home and kidnappers almost always lure children out in the community, not from their homes.
In the Bedtime Hero program I describe a strategy of making up humorous bedtime stories about the intruder, which transforms the fearful imagery into a comedy. In addition, the Bedtime Hero ebook tells the story of Royelle who overcame nighttime fears and learned to sleep confidently alone (Bibliotherapy was described as a technique by Lewis et al 2015).
Nighttime Fear #5: Fear of Bad Dreams
Nightmares (bad dreams) and night terrors are two entirely different things. Please visit Nightmares in Children to learn more.
If a child is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of an emotionally traumatic life event, such as physical abuse or an extremely frightening event, they can experience nightmares in which the mind replays the traumatic incident.
Most children, however, are simply frightened by an imaginary threat, such as being chased by a killer or a monster. I like to point out that since the dream is like a movie they are creating in their mind it means that they are the director of the movie and they can, therefore, change the storyline to anything they want (This is “emotive Imagery” as described by Jackson and King 1981).
One little 6-year-old girl had been traumatized by watching “Friday the 13th” at a friend’s birthday party (obviously a poor choice of videos at that house). With my encouragement she gleefully imagined the killer Jason transforming into a rubber ducky whenever the image of him came up in her mind. That was the end of her nighttime fears.
Nighttime Fear #6: Fear of Being Alone
The fear of being alone is the same as separation anxiety because the child is afraid to sleep by themselves without the parent close by. However, the fear of sleeping alone, by itself, is not sufficient to diagnose Separation Anxiety Disorder because symptoms must also be evident during the day in other life situations (see How to Help Your Child Sleep Alone Without Anxiety for a full description).
A simple behavioral strategy is for a parent to tell the child after tucking them in that they will return in 10 minutes to check on them. Usually, most children will be ok with 10 minutes, but the length of time can be shorter if necessary. At the 10 minute check-in the parent can say they’ll come back in another 10 minutes, and so on, repeating this as many times as necessary until the child has clearly fallen asleep. No child can ever stay awake all night long! With a successful night or two of this procedure the parent can then gradually lengthen the interval to 12 minutes, 15 minutes, as so on until the whole checking thing has become unnecessary.
Occasionally, I have found a child who was totally unable to sleep alone and needed to sleep with the parent. In those cases, I suggested making a temporary bed on the floor for the child near the parent’s bed. Then, the child’s bed was gradually moved farther away and closer to their own room along with rewards and reinforcement for positive progress (Gordon et al 2007).
Nighttime Fear #7: Waking in the Night
The fear of awakening during the night is due to the child’s awareness that everyone else is asleep and not available for support. The house is quiet and dark and the child may have had a bad dream. However, helping the child go back to sleep only requires that the parent do the same thing they did when the child first went to bed, such as checking every 10 minutes, reviewing the funny ending for a bad dream, discussing sounds in the house, etc. CBT interventions have repeatedly shown positive results with relatively rapid outcomes and high success rates (Sadeh 2005).
How Afraid is Your Child?
Most research studies make use of a scale of some kind to measure the severity of a child’s fear (Orgilés et al 2021). Bedtime Hero provides a simple thermometer type scale that your child can use to rate their level of anxiety or fear, which can be useful for tracking their progress. It’s also common for a child to have more than one fear, so as one fear is resolved the next underlying fear can be easily identified by using the scale and asking the child to say what is still bothering them.
How Your Child Can Become a Bedtime Hero
The Bedtime Hero online program and ebook provides everything you need to help your child learn to sleep on their own comfortably and confidently with no more nighttime fears. It has already helped hundreds of children around the world learn to overcome their nighttime fears.
All of the strategies described above are included in this program, but there is more that cannot be easily presented here. In particular, there is a therapeutic procedure contained in each of the 7 Common Fear sessions that helps your child access their inner strength and good feelings because this is the most effective way of helping your child make use of their powerful imagination in constructive ways.
I have made it easy for parents to participate. First, you can sign up for a 1-week Free Trial of the first session, just so that you can see if your child responds well to the interactive program. Most children do. Then, you can purchase a 1-year membership that gives you access to the Full Program which addresses all of the common nighttime fears in children and includes a final confidence-boosting session. You will likely be pleasantly surprised by the affordable low cost because I want everyone to be able to access this valuable tool.
Furthermore, I provide a 100% money back guarantee. If your child does not experience a noticeable improvement in their nighttime fears within two sessions you can obtain a full or partial refund upon request.
Sign Up Now
to Receive Your Free
QuickStart Email Series for Parents
Your Free Access to
the Bedtime Hero Program
* Your email address will not be shared with anyone.
"This has been the best and most helpful tool yet with my 8 year old and her sleep anxiety. Appreciate it so much."
- Bedtime Hero Mom
About Dr Lauderdale
Dr. Lauderdale has had over 35 years experience in private practice working with children and adolescents using a variety of therapeutic methods including psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, Eye Movement and Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), motivational psychology, medication and family therapy. He has specialized in helping children with fears and anxiety disorders.
Copyright © 2023 by W. Mark Lauderdale MD
All rights reserved.
Cornwall, E., Spence, S. H., & Schotte, D. (1996). The effectiveness of emotive imagery in the treatment of darkness phobia in children. Behaviour Change, 13, 223–229.
Ducasse, D. & Denis, H. (2015). [Pathological nighttime fears in children: Clinical specificities and effective therapeutics]. Encephale, 41(4), 323-31.
Gordon, J., King, N., Gullone, E., Muris, P., & Ollendick, T. H. (2007a). Nighttime fears of children and adolescents: Frequency, content, severity, harm, expectations, disclosure, and coping behaviours. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45(10), 2464–2472.
Gordon J., King N. J., Gullone E., Muris P., Ollendick T. H. (2007). Treatment of children's nighttime fears: The need for a modern randomised controlled trial. Clinical Psychology Review, 27(1), 98-113.
Graziano, A. M., & Mooney, K. C. (1980). Family self-control instruction for children’s nighttime fear reduction. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 48(2), 206–213.
Gregory, A. M., Caspi, A., Eley, T. C., Moffitt, T. E., O’Connor, T. G., & Poulton, R. (2005). Prospective longitudinal associations between persistent sleep problems in childhood and anxiety and depression disorders in adulthood. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 33, 157–163.
Kanfer, F. H., Karoly, P., & Newman, A. (1975). Reduction of children’s fear of the dark by competence-related and situational threat-related verbal cues. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 43(2), 251–258.
Jackson, H. J., & King, N. J. (1981). The emotive imagery treatment of a child’s trauma-induced phobia. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 12(4), 325–328.
Lebowitz, E. R., & Majdick, J. M. (2020). The SPACE program, a parent-based treatment for childhood and adolescent anxiety: Clinical case illustration. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 34(2),
Lewis, K. M., Amatya, K., Coffman, M. F., & Ollendick, T. H. (2015). Treating nighttime fears in young children with bibliotherapy: Evaluating anxiety symptoms and monitoring behavior change. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 30, 103–112.
Lewis, K. M., Rafihi-Ferreira, R., Freitag, G. F., Coffman, M., & Ollendick, T.H. (2021). A 25-Year Review of Nighttime Fears in Children: Past, Present, and Future, Clinical Child Family Psychology Review, 24(3), 391-413.
Muris, P., Merckelbach, H., Ollendick, T.H., King, N.J., & Bogie, N. (2001). Children’s nighttime fears: Parent–child ratings of frequency, content, origins, coping behaviors and severity. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 39, 13–28.
Muris, P., & Field, A. P. (2011). The normal development of fear. In W. K. Silverman & A. P. Field (Eds.), Anxiety disorders in children and adolescents: Research, assessment and intervention (2nd ed., pp. 76–89). Cambridge University Press.
Orgilés, M., Fernández-Martínez, I., Espada, J. P., & Morales, A. (2021). The Nighttime Fears Scale: Development and psychometric evidence of a standardized self-report scale to assess nighttime fears in children. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 79, 102369.
Rafihi-Ferreira, R., Silvares, E. F., Asbahr, F. R., & Ollendick, T. H. (2018). Brief treatment for nighttime fears and co-sleeping problems: A randomized clinical trial. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 58, 51–60.
Sadeh, A. (2005). Cognitive-behavioral treatment for childhood sleep disorders. Clinical Psychology Review, 25, 612–628.
Simon, E., Van der Sluis, C., Muris, P., Thompson, E., & Cartwright-Hatton, S. (2014). Anxiety in preadolescent children: What happens if we don’t treat it, and what happens if we do? Psychopathology Review, 1(1), 28–50.
Bedtime Hero Reviews
Slept through every night since starting the program 1 week ago. It was an instant success, Thanks.
No longer afraid of the dark
My son is sleeping in the dark. He is not using a TV anymore to sleep and he has allowed us to turn his white noise machine really, really, low. I think this is a great program. My husband and I tried so many different things and nothing seem to work. After doing just the first module my son made a huge change, though I know it is still a work in progress.
Amazing success with this program.
If you have had ongoing sleep issues with your child and are trying to find a solution, then look no further. I cannot praise this program enough. My story is as follows: My 14 year old daughter had not been sleeping for about 5 years. She was afraid of being the last person left awake in the house, so would insist that I lay down next to her until she was asleep. Sometimes this would take 5 minutes, other times 3 hours. Then just as I tried to leave her bed and creep out, she would wake up and we were back to square one (just like a baby or toddler). My husband used to say, just leave her but the anxiety was so huge, I couldn’t do it. Even at 14, she would cry, shake, beg me to stay. It was absolutely crazy. It was not good for our marriage, meant even going on holiday was difficult, as she had to start the night with me lying next to her and sleep overs were out of the question. We tried melatonin, even hypnosis but nothing seemed to work. I was at the end of my tether when I found this program.
Basically using this program forced me to confront the issue with my daughter head on and really talk about it. She was very reluctant to do the program and cried her way through the first couple of sessions. Even talking about sleep was clearly distressing for her. I announced that not only were we going to do the program but I was no longer going to sleep next to her. She was going to learn to fall asleep alone. She was not at all happy about this and sobbed most of the night. I kept taking her back to bed every time she appeared in the doorway sobbing, begging me to stay “just this one time”, promising “she would start tomorrow”. It was very painful and she did not fall asleep until about 3.30 am but she did it. I carried on doing the program every other day and being really strict at night, taking her back to her bed and leaving her to fall asleep alone. The first week was tough. Very tough. It was a hard habit to break. There were a lot of tears and I kept thinking, is she ever going to be able to do this, but she did and I haven’t looked back. The anxiety has reduced significantly. I now put her to bed and she says “will you check on me when you go to bed?”. Sometimes she is still awake, sometimes she is already asleep but I just say goodnight again and remind her to think of her happy place and she goes off to sleep. It’s a like a miracle and my life is so much better as a result. I messaged Dr Lauderdale a number of times throughout the process for moral support and advice and he was fantastic. It’s thanks to him that we now have a daughter who can sleep! Please just do as I did. Just go for it. Stick with it and be tough to be kind. It will pay off. My daughter kept feeling guilty for ruining my sleep, but I feel guilty now that I didn’t address this issue sooner. By giving in to her anxiety and letting it control us, I created the problem. This program made me realise that the anxiety has to be addressed head on. The child has to face their demons and parents have to be reassuring but very strict and firm. In effect by lying there next to her, I was confirming that there was something to be worried about. Making her face her worries, proved to her that there was in fact nothing to worry about and empowered her. Good luck!
My daughter is 7 and used to be a good sleeper but then would be frantic about something some nights and it was a nightmare getting her to feel safe in her bed. After only a couple of the modules we saw a major improvement and since she led the way, we discovered things she was afraid of that she wasn’t able to vocalize to us. I can’t say she uses the strategies every night but the 10 minute check in for her was the key I think. We still have work to do, but it’s been a huge improvement.
As a clinician, I tried my hand at my daughters sleep woes myself — to no avail for almost a year. We recently started this program and within a week noticed a HUGE turnaround! Beyond grateful and pleased with the program and the deep kindness that Dr Lauderdale has bestowed upon us our interactions. I recommend this program with enthusiasm!
Falling asleep easily
My child’s high level of anxiety about intruders was 8 out of 10 initially, but after only 3 weeks was feeling totally confident about sleeping alone and is now falling asleep easily.
Able to work through anxiety
After 8 days of using the program my child’s anxiety level dropped from a 9 (out of 10) with tears at bedtime to only 1 out of 10 and now feels totally confident about sleeping alone. This has been a great help!
Thank you so much for creating this program and keeping it affordable for families. It truly helped my 11 year old son! When we went through the program our son even picked “going to the water park” as his positive experience before he heard the example. He felt understood. We love how it targeted exactly what he needed and how it did it so effectively. (Feel free to use as a review)
Sleeping in own bed after 2 weeks
Sleeping in own bed, much more confident, able to go back to sleep on own. Puts self back to sleep sometimes. Started the program 2 weeks ago. Level of confidence about sleeping alone is now a 9 out of 10.
Thank you for such a wonderful program
My daughter feels a lot more confident and happier about her room, and being in it by herself. She used to never sleep in her room by herself, but she’s now sleeping alone and waking up during the night to come and see me. However, I know that she will eventually be able to soothe herself back to sleep.
More confident after 1 week
More able to talk him through the going to bed routine and create confidence in his ability to be alone at bedtime.
My 9yo daughter was having an escalating issue with not sleeping through the night over 3 months. She got to the point that she would stay awake until about 11pm in her room until she passed out asleep and then woke up at 3am and stayed awake. She was too scared to go to sleep. We did one session from Bedtime Hero and she slept 10 hours the first night! We finished the entire program and she hasn’t had an issue since. She has moments of fear and apprehension, so we take 5 minutes to review some of the things we’ve learned (like tapping into the power inside of her, visualization, etc,) and she rolls over and goes right to sleep. A life changing program!
Bedtime Hero was very helpful. I recommend this program.
Seems to be effective
Less nervous at bedtime. After 3 weeks of using the Full Program his level of confidence about sleeping on his own is 10 out of 10!
My 8yo was terrified to sleep in her room. She would sob and be in hysterics at bedtime and would only sleep in our room. Within 1 week of starting Bedtime Hero she was falling asleep in her room, and within a few months she was falling asleep and staying in her room the whole night without coming to our room or waking us in the night. She now enjoys her room, feels safe, and doesn’t protest at bedtime. I would highly recommend Bedtime Hero to anyone looking for an effective and nurturing way to support their child at bedtime.
Talking about my child’s fears and expectations for bedtime with this program helped him work through what he needed to do/change. The guides and the suggestions in the course were very helpful. He now has no fear at all.
Massive difference in a short space of time!
I was sceptical about Bedtime Hero but I was also desperate. Our 11yr old was TERRIFIED to sleep in her own room. Her imagination was wild and she imagined all sorts of horrors lurking in her room. She would only sleep in our bedroom.
After many a google search, I decided to give Bedtime Hero a go. It made such a massive difference in such a short space of time!
Our daughter now sleeps in her own room every night, she has no fears of being alone at night. I am so pleased with the program, I will recommend it to anyone who’s child is terrified to sleep alone.
My 8 year old has had sleep struggles her whole life. We have tried everything, including 6 months of therapy. Nothing worked until we found Dr. Lauderdale’s program. Within 2 weeks, her anxiety is almost gone. Thank you, Dr. Lauderdale!
Really helped our daughter
So glad we found this program. It really helped our daughter make the move to sleeping through the night in her own bed.
More confident and sleeping on her own
My son is 10 years old and still can’t sleep alone although he keep trying. Maybe use different ideas or strategies.
Sleeping well without anxiety
My 5 years old smarter. She was exited about the story and wood like to sleep in the room. Read 2. After she was not interested. I give up sleeping in Cher, floor. The end is the same as soon I leave the room she wakes up and follow me :)))
Response from ShrinkinaBox
The program works best for 6-12 year old children.
– Dr Lauderdale